A man comes home from work and is greeted by his wife in a sexy little nightie. "Tie me up," she purrs, "and you can do anything you want." So he ties her up and goes out for a round of golf.

 A golfer asked his friend, "Why are you so late?" The man replied "It's Sunday.  I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf -- and it took 25 tosses to get it right."

 A General and his 2nd Lt. Aide de Camp were playing golf together.  The General teed up on the first par 3 and promptly drove his ball into the water.  He held out his hand and said, "Lt. Smith, give me a ball."  The junior officer promptly did as he was asked.  The General teed up the 2nd ball, swung mightily, topped the ball and watched it dribble into the water.  The General then stuck out his hand again and said "Lt. Smith, give me another ball."  When the scene replayed itself and the General again stuck out his hand, Lt. Smith said, "General these balls are getting a bit expensive."  The General looked at him and said, "Well, Lt. Smith, if you can't afford to play the game, you shouldn't be out here."